Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
