does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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