youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
