do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
