I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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