No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize