You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
