he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize