OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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