You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
