Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
