He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
