Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
