He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize