does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
