I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
