Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
