she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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