Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
