Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
