you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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