Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
