Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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