...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
