you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
