You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
