You're completely useless in the revolution.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
