btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
