His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
