dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
