he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
