What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
