Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
