i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
