i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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