I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
