I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
