You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I can't turn off my feet"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
