Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
