Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
