it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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