i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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