the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize