I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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