i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
