I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
