she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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