I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
