So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize