i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
