Im at strip club and am horny
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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