how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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