he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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