Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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