Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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