What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
