we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
