I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
