I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
