Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
