This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
