Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
