You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
