Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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