Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How does one acquire holy water?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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