I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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