Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
