my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You are the jesus of drinking
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
