I think I died a long time ago.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize