a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
