i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
