So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
