This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
