I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
