no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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