Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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