Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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