I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
