Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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